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The current year marks a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the concept that someone could suddenly stop contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly fruitless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Gen Z, a cohort who matured during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y elders could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive breakdown to the words Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – For gen Z, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s response is interested or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means going for someone who aids you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A outing where two people connect while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes partners who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: practicing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners crazy, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks validate your decision to date a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band many young men is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and often mundane repulsions that immediately kill any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {